Forgiven
by That Dastard Cerberus
Summary: He is Cecil, Lord Captain of the Red Wings of Baron. He was a traitor, murderer, a curse on the land. And he felt he could never be forgiven.


**A/N: So, in honor of my most favorite game, I decided to make a one-shot over Cecil's overall feelings throughout the game. I wish they played more on that in-game, but there's also so much you can pack into a disc (although the DS version did a wonderful job by allowing us to read the characters' thoughts during certain parts of the game).**

**The title of this fanfic is called Forgiven, which is a song sung by Skillet. I was listening to it when I got inspired to write this, so I really recommend listening to it as well while you're reading. Since songfics are illegal on this site, and I do believe they can hinder imagination at times (unless this is High School Musical or Victorious, well, then maybe not), I'm just settling with listening to the song in the background (which I recommend you listen to the song first, and listen closely to the lyrics), while also including a quote that's very important to the song and this fic. Note, however, that this is just a quote, a small piece to much longer lyrics. Skillet's music does not belong to me, nor does Final Fantasy IV.**

**EDIT: Thanks, ChocolateTeapot, for the review and advice. I made the necessary changes. Remember, people, feel free to review and point out any errors. I really appreciate the critic!**

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><p>"<em>Now I'm in a secret place, alone in your embrace, where all my wrongs have been erased. You have forgiven."<em> – Skillet, Awake and Alive Album, song Forgiven

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><p>He was a knight of Baron, lord captain of the Red Wings, and a Dark Knight.<p>

For a long time, he trusted his king with all his heart, following His Majesty's words faithfully and blindly. It did his heart good to know he was serving his country, but more importantly, he was honoring the man who took him in, having found him as a babe alone and untended for.

This was why, even though dark voices whispered treasonous thoughts, he followed His Majesty's orders to raid Mysidia and take their Water Crystal by any means necessary. He had tried to reason his thoughts away, and even his men's fears, by repeating over and over how good the king was, and how the king never had a reason to order such a move unless forced to. He tried to reason that the Mysidians deserved this, that they were attempting to use the Crystal for evil means.

But as he slashed through his opponents, he felt no ill-will, no darkness except his own, and he slowly felt with every cry of pain more sorrow and distain for his cruel actions.

When his men questioned the king's motives, Cecil tried to rationalize them away. But this did not work anymore, for he felt the warm blood on his hands and heard the screams ringing in his ears, all still fresh in his mind.

When he asked the king for the reason for the raid, he was slammed down, accused of treason, and stripped of his title.

Then he and his best friend Kain, who tried to aid his ill-fated friend, were charged with a simple delivery task.

Even when Kain tried to assure him that this will all be over quickly, that everything would return to normal, Cecil could not quite take good fortune in the prediction, for, deep in his mind, he knew it not to be true.

That night he prayed for forgiveness to his king, for being unfaithful.

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><p>When he and Kain arrived in Mist, he thought his trial was finally over. Then, suddenly, the ring he was meant to deliver became a bomb that destroyed everything in sight.<p>

This is where he met the Summoner Rydia, who was kneeing over the deceased body of her mother. He saw her tears, and that somehow, even before he knew killing the Mist Dragon would end the woman's life, he was responsible for her death.

When Rydia struck out at them when this knowledge came forth, Cecil felt for once no remorse. It felt like things might set themselves if he were gone. He understood, and he did not blame her for attacking him. He felt horrible for Kain, however, knowing that none of this was his friend's fault.

However, his death was not meant to be. Taking the unconscious girl to a nearby town, Cecil prayed and hoped Kain would be unharmed, wherever he was.

When night finally came, Cecil did not fall asleep. Too much was floating in his head, too much stress, too much confusion, too much anger.

He no longer prayed for forgiveness from his king, a large scar on his heart burning with betrayal, but upon seeing the little girl who refused to speak to him, he did pray that somewhere the child might pardon him from his misdeeds towards her people, and especially towards her mother. He also prayed that his friend Kain forgave him for dragging him into this mess in the first place, and wished the best for his rival.

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><p>In the village Kaipo, he learned of his love Rosa had caught the Desert Fever while searching for him the vast Damcyan desert. He and Rydia immediately went to the castle, accompanied by an elderly sage.<p>

Upon arriving, darkness fell over his heart again. The Red Wings had attacked Damcyan and taken its Crystal. Even though he was no longer a part of the Red Wings, Cecil still felt a great sense of guilt, a sense of responsibility towards the group he had once led with pride.

He then met Prince Edward, who was weeping over his dead lover. Again, the guilt took over, and Cecil cursed his fate silently. Why do so many good people have to suffer because of him?

When Rydia told Edward to stop crying, as she has stopped, Cecil couldn't help but feel . . . some kind of joy, happiness perhaps? He didn't know, but he knew that in order to save Rosa, he needed the prince's help. After literally slapping some sense into the blonde's head, the three joined onward.

Sitting in the back of the hovercraft, Cecil said his prayer of forgiveness once more. He prayed that Kain would forgive him, that Rosa would forgive him, that Rydia would forgive him, and Edward as well.

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><p>Upon curing Rosa, the party marched on, towards Fabul, in a vain attempt to stop this mysterious man called Golbez from obtaining another Crystal. On the way, they met Yang, a strong warrior monk who volunteered to be their guide to Fabul.<p>

Once the message was delivered, everyone prepared for battle. Cecil's immediate worry was for Rosa and Rydia, who he commanded to look out for the injured and stay out of the fray.

However, things began to take, it seemed, a turn for the better, as his best friend Kain returned. But fate was not smiling on Cecil, for it turned out that Kain was working with the enemy for unknown reasons.

When it seemed he would be struck down, hopelessness gripping his heart, Rosa came. She called out to Kain, who then hesitated.

Then the world truly ended. The man by the name of Golbez came into the room, commanded Kain, and took Rosa away.

With the last of his strength, Cecil pleaded to Kain, who ignored his cry for help and rubbed salt into the wound in his heart.

Before blackening out, Cecil prayed. He begged forgiveness from Kain, who he knew not why his friend had turned to darkness except to get even, from Yang for dooming the monk's entire kingdom, from Edward for being indirectly responsible for killing Anna, from Rydia for destroying her life, and especially from Rosa, for not being able to protect her.

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><p>When all was said and done, Cecil and his remaining party agreed to head towards Baron. On the way, they were stopped by the sea monster Leviathan, who then swallowed Rydia and Yang whole. Before Cecil could anything, the ship capsized, and Cecil found himself alone, in the direction of Mysidia.<p>

Feeling there was no other choice, he went into the kingdom he had raided not that long ago, fear eating the inside of his chest. He couldn't compel himself to look anyone in the eye, although every Mysidian he walked by did everything possible to increase his misery.

When he finally came across the Elder after much mental and physical abuse, he half expected the mage to strike him down with lightning or something. But inside the Elder gave him two aids to climb a mountain that would supposedly grant him freedom of all his past deeds.

Once more, seeing no way out, Cecil accepted the challenge, taking the two apprentices, Palom and Porom, with him to Mt. Ordeals.

But before he left, he prayed the Mysidians forgive him, even though he knew he did not deserve it.

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><p>Much had happened after Mt. Ordeals. Having been given the power of light, a way to fight his inner darkness, Cecil, now a paladin, made his way back to Baron, taking with him the two apprentice mages and the old sage Tellah, to Baron.<p>

Together, they reentered Baron, ready to face the king. Although butterflies fluttered in his stomach, he set out to make things right and confront the shadow of his past.

The ensuing battle that took place caught him by surprise. He had been expecting to face against King Odin, not Cagnazzo the water Archfiend. Yet it came to be. When the water fiend finally breathed his last, Cecil thought it would all be over.

But it was not. Again, some divine force or hellish incarnate insisted to shake his cage. Cagnazzo was not finished with them yet, and with the last of his power, he caused the walls around them to crush in on them. If it were not the brave, sacrificial efforts of Palom and Porom, they would all be dead.

But even with that thought, Cecil felt a great deal of anger, hatred, and most importantly, guilt. Why could he not stop the constant carnage? Why could he not save his friends? Why couldn't it have been him instead? Why is everyone he meets dying all around him?

For this he had no answer. But as he departed from Baron, he held onto a prayer.

He prayed all the lost souls forgive him for being so weak.

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><p>When meeting up with Cid, Cecil felt something that once more things were starting to go their way. Armed with the best airship in the Baron fleet, they began to make their way after Golbez, ready to face the fiend once and for all.<p>

Fate, or more specifically, Kain had a different idea. He came to them, with a white flag, apparently wanting to talk.

However, what they talked about was far from what Cecil had hoped for.

A simple blackmail. Get the Earth Crystal of Troia, or Rosa gets it. Feeling there was no choice, Cecil complied, heading for Troia.

A rather pleasant surprise greeted him there. He came across Edward, who apparently had survived the ship wreck. He gave Cecil a special flower, whisperweed, to aid them on their quest to fight the Dark Elf, who had taken the Earth Crystal.

Having defeated the monster with Edward's harp music and use of magnetic weapons, Cecil took the Crystal and prepared himself for meeting with Kain.

He prayed the Troians forgive him, for failing to keep his promise.

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><p>Once in the tower, Cecil fought and stormed through the fortress, red in the corner of his eyes. At the edge of his ropes, ready to pounce on Golbez the moment his dark armor was in sight, Cecil took his rage out on the beasts that dwelled within this foul domain.<p>

When he finally reached Golbez's throne, the cruel sorcerer merely took the Crystal and laughed in his face.

Tellah, overcome with rage not only for his daughter, but for Edward, for Rydia, for Palom, Porom, and Rosa, struck out, casting Meteor. The spell, however, was too much for the elderly man, and he died there, taking his last breath, wishing he had not been so blinded by rage.

The Meteor spell did not kill Golbez as Cecil had hoped, but it did weaken him, enough so that his control over Kain was broken. In spite of Kain telling them his reason for turning to the darkness, Cecil found it in his heart to forgive him. Rosa, too, held out her hand in blessing.

But as the merriment of having one friend return, another death rested on Cecil's shoulders. He prayed for Tellah to forgive him for not being able to stop him from casting Meteor. He prayed Kain forgive him for not seeing the truth. He also prayed Rosa forgive him, for leaving her alone for so long.

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><p>Deep within the Underworld, a new mission had been launched. Having discovered that there are four other Crystals, dark Crystals, that Golbez needed to collect in order to summon the Giant of Babil, the group wasted no time, rushing to reach them before he could.<p>

With only two left, they made their way to the castle of the Underworld, asking for the king of dwarves' assistance. But they were too late to save the third dark Crystal. Taken by Golbez, the team had only one chance to stop Golbez.

However, it seemed a light was finally beginning to shine in the inner gloom Cecil felt his soul dangling over. Rydia, the little girl whom he was sure was eaten by Leviathan, reappeared, this time full grown as a young woman. She explained that Leviathan took her to the Feymarch to be trained as a Summoner.

Hearing her story, Cecil felt a great sense of relief and joy. Everyone had survived the shipwreck, but still . . .

Palom, Porom, Anna, Yang, and Tellah needed to avenged for the horrible deeds by Golbez.

Returning to the surface, again, tragedy struck. Cid leapt off the airship and used an explosive to stop the Red Wings for pursuing them. Another loss, another friend gone. Cecil had lost and regained so many friends, he felt himself going numb. It was as if his body could no longer handle the grief, and thus shut off its emotions. Maybe that's why he coldly said they should head to Baron for Cid while the others grieved painfully for their fallen friend.

He prayed to the spirit of Cid to forgive him for his apathy.

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><p>After returning from Baron, the four made their way back to the Underworld to stop Golbez. It was during their trip that they met Edge, the prince of Elban. Together, the group trekked up to face the final Archfiend Rubicante. Once he been defeated, the group continued onward, stealing a Red Wings airship and restarted their quest for the last Crystal. They were even given the pleasant surprise of Cid being alive, lazily resting in a bed in the Dwarven castle.<p>

But continued good fortune was not meant to be. The Fates had a different goal in mind, and suddenly, right before they were about to depart from the cave, Golbez seized control of Kain once more, and the Crystal, and his best friend, were gone.

He prayed that the Underworld forgive him for failing to stop Golbez.

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><p>The trip to Moon to stop Golbez was a lengthy one. Cecil discovered the truth about Golbez, about the moon, and about himself. But without much time to truly consider what everything mention, they rushed back to Earth, keen on stopping the Giant of Babil.<p>

It seemed even more so that the Fates were finally smiling down on him. Yang was alive, Porom and Palom were free from their stony prison, Cid and Edward had fully recovered, and each was leading their own assault on the Giant to stop it from its mission.

Cecil, Rosa, Rydia, Edge, and Fuyosa successfully entered the Giant, defeated the Archfiends once more, and went to confront Golbez. Once Fuyosa freed Golbez, the two raced to the Moon to finish everything. Kain rejoined the group, having once more regained control of himself.

The trip to the Moon was an interesting one, as both Rosa and Rydia had managed to sneak aboard despite Cecil's orders. Once upon the moon, they faced the true power of Zemus, his hatred that took on physical form, Zeromus.

The battle was long and hard. However, everyone's prayers gave them the life, strength, vitality, and holy might to face Zeromus and defeated him once and for all.

Back on Earth, everyone cheered and celebrated the victory of the Blue Planet. Golbez and Fuyosa went to sleep with the Lunarians. Cecil and his company returned home. He was hugged, praised, and congratulated for the victory.

And after everything, all his crimes, all his mistakes, all his trials, he found shelter in his friends' warm embrace, his sins all erased.

He had finally been forgiven.

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><p><strong>Well, this was a monster to write, but I'm glad I finally got this finished. You might be asking about some parts missing from this piece, and honestly, my best answer is if it didn't focus on Cecil's forgiven factor, it did not show up here.<strong>

**Peace out!**


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